Client: “I’ve tried everything; maybe we are just not meant for each other…”
Daniel: ”What does everything mean? What did you guys try?”
Client: “Well, I gave him signals on MULTIPLE occasions that I’m not happy… I also told Louis, my best girlfriend, about our situation, and asked her for advice. She said that I deserve more… I also ordered this book, and well, I’ve just told you about it.”
Daniel: ”Have you tried couples therapy?”
Daniel: “Have you tried to plan a romantic vacation?”
Daniel: “Have you tried to book a seminar together to learn more about your problems?”
Daniel: “So why did you say you tried everything?”
Client: “Well, I haven’t tried anything, but I signaled my unhappiness to him almost every day, and he still isn’t changing anything.”
Daniel: “Is your partner a mind reader?”
Daniel: “I thought so; what’s stopping you from just telling him about your needs and negotiating on your behalf?”
Client: “Nothing, maybe I don’t know what I need from him….”
I have conversations like the one above all the time in my private practice and it took me years to understand this simple truth; Most people suck at relationships.
One of the reasons why I created this blog was because I wanted to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world and I’ve come to believe that romantic relationships are one area in life where people make things way harder than they have to be (pun intended).
One thing that infuriates me these days is to run into people who’ve lost their soulmate because they avoided acquiring the necessary relationship skills that would have produced the outcome called connection.
In order to find out what it takes to repair a broken relationship, I’ve reached out to Robert Taibbi, one of the world-leading experts in couples counseling in order to find an answer to the questions;
What constitutes a good relationship?
How can we produce one?
And what do we do if we fuck it all up?
Robert knows a thing or two about this love thing, he dedicated most of his life to the investigation of the human mind and helped countless individuals to run their life properly.
After 46 years of counseling, 11 books, and 300 articles Robert Taibbi decided to share his trade secrets exclusively with us on the Psychology Podcast.
I don’t say this often, but Robert is a true master of his craft and if your relationship isn’t what it could be you should plug in year earbuds and listen closely to what this expert has to say.